TO BE A DADDY OR NOT TO BE?

Finding out that I was pregnant was a huge shock, but also an emotional roller coaster. I had no clue what I was going to do with a baby, and most importantly I had no clue if the father was going to want to be a part of the baby's life. I remember him calling me and telling me that he wanted to hang out, so I knew that would be the perfect opportunity for us to talk and for him to know that I was going to be having his child. I showed up as his house, and as normal he offered me a beer. I, of course said “no” which is the first red flag for him, considering I would always say “yes”. Circumstances had changed, which he had no clue of yet.

We chatted like we normally do and then he asked me if I was going to stay the night, and I told him that it was going to depend on how he reacted when I had a serious conversation with him. He immediately panicked and went and grabbed another beer. When he came back out to the porch, I just let it out. I told him that I had gone to the doctor and that I had found out that I was pregnant. He asked me multiple times how I could let this happen. I told him he should know because he was there and a part of it too.

There were several minutes of awkward silence, and I remember him asking me if I had gotten pregnant on purpose. This just flew all over me, because how would anyone get pregnant on purpose, I had absolutely no plans of getting pregnant, but it happened. He told me to stay put, and he went inside and was in there for quite a while. While I was outside starting at the stars and wondering how in the world we were going to make this work, he came back out and told me to “go and take care of it”. I asked him if he was referring for me to go and have an abortion. He said “well yes, I mean you don’t want a baby and I sure don’t want a baby”. I told him that if he didn’t want a baby that was on him, but that I had no intentions of not keeping this child. He said “well, I am not going to be a part of his life, we are not together and I have no plans of being with you to raise this child”. I told him that I would just raise the child by myself and that I didn’t need anything from him. I said some few harsh words and then I remember leaving the house with tears pouring down my face because I had never been more scared then I was at that moment.

Reality had set in, I was officially going to be a “Single Parent” you hear about them all the time, but you never really know what a “single parent” is until you step into the role of one. I knew that there were ways that I could get financial support from my child’s father, but why would I want support from someone who didn’t even want my child to begin with? To me, that just goes to show that it wasn’t meant for him to be involved in his life.