STOP AND THINK BEFORE JUDGING A SINGLE MOM
So often, people assume that single moms brought their situations upon themselves. They assume they ruined their lives because of immaturity and a moment of bad judgement. We all live in a world full of judgment and pointing fingers. There seems to be more people willing to criticize every little thing than to lend a helping hand, or offer advice. I am guilty of this myself. There have been many times I have found myself judging someone else when I shouldn’t, times where I think I know the circumstances of someone else but I don’t; therefore, I cannot possibly know how the best way to handle their situation.
What comes to your mind when you hear “single mom”? Do you think of a teenager who doesn’t know who the father is and is living on welfare? Or maybe a women whose wedding vows were broken, or a women who was put into emotional or physical harm and she had to do what was best for her and her child. How about a young woman who is left to raise a child on her own because she chose to give her child life instead of having an abortion? Do you ever consider that the woman you may have judged may have lost her husband too soon and is doing the best she can to support her family?
I am a single mom, and I am here to tell you I have encountered more judgment, and pointed fingers in being a single mom than I can ever remember. I was left at 6 weeks into my pregnancy to raise my child on my own because I chose to give my unborn child life. I delivered my child with my mom standing by my side and holding my hand while the waiting room was over flowing with family waiting to meet the child that would make me a mother.
Most of us didn’t choose this road. Someone chose it for us, either by walking away, breaking the marriage vows, or physically harming us. Not all single moms are teenagers who got pregnant without any idea of who the father is, and live on welfare. While there are certainly women out there trying to prove that they can make it in the world on their own, there are still plenty of women believing that making it on your own was NEVER God’s best plan for the family unit. No matter how we got to where we are, I doubt there were any little girls out there dreaming of one day being a single mom.
I will be the first to tell you that dealing with a hurting child and answering “daddy” questions is the most heartbreaking thing I have encountered, and watching his broken heart long for something that I cannot control tears me up every single day. We all have a story and some probably don’t know it. So please be careful before you judge how a child may behave, what we may wear, or any number of things that might share the whole story of what is really going on. We have all made mistakes in our lives. None of our stories will ever be the same as the one next to us, but wouldn’t it be amazing if we all extended love instead of pointing fingers?
