KEEPING THE FAITH IN DIFFICULT TIMES
FAITH DURING THE HARD TIMES
I never planned to be a single mother, but sometimes our plans are different than GOD’s plans. While I love being a single parent, I will admit there are times that are harder than others. Some of the hardest moments I have found are:
Worrying Alone- I don’t think I have ever experienced something quite so lonely as having to worry about your child alone. When I have been up all night worrying over a fever, or when I struggle to make sure that I am making the correct parenting decisions for my child. I don’t regret being a single mother, but I miss the role that was supposed to be played by Charlie’s father.
Celebrating Alone- All throughout life your child will achieve huge milestones and achievements, and while I look forward to them, it always makes me sad to know that Charlie only has a mommy who is sitting there cheering him on at his soccer game or clapping during a song he is singing. While Charlie has a lot of other people who are there for those achievements, Istill think in the back of my mind, how much I wish that Charlie had a father to celebrate those special moments with as well.
No one to dry your tears- We all know as single moms that when you reach that moment when you have hit your breaking point and the tears just start rolling. Things get hard and we need a good cry every once in a while, but when you are crying alone it just sometimes magnifies that you wish there was someone there to lean on. I realize that it is just me there, and I have to pull myself together, because I have a sweet little boy who needs me to be strong for him.
When I have to ask for help- I am a single mom yes, and there is only so much one person can do. As a single mom you always feel like you have to show everyone you are strong and not weak, and sometimes we never ask for help when we really need it. You think to yourself, you shouldn’t have to ask for help, there should be someone there helping you with your child so that you can take care of yourself. This is not the way it works unfortunately, you just have to bite the bullet and ask for help.
When you disappoint your child- If you were wondering, there is never a parent that will go through life without disappointing their child. However for a single parent those disappointments hit harder than if you were doing it with the other parent. Sometimes you may disappoint your child when they ask you for something that you just can’t financially afford because you are on a one income financial plan and every penny you have goes towards the well-being of your child. It’s hard when you see your child sad because you have disappointed him, and as a parent you just want to see your child happy.
Explaining where the other parent is- For me this is the single hardest part of being a single mom and that is to explain a situation to my son who doesn’t really even understand. Where is my daddy? “I don’t know”. Did my daddy not love me? “Yes, I am sure he did” (obviously he didn’t or he would be here)”. Was I a bad boy is that why I don’t have a daddy? “ Not at all”. watching your child struggle to understand and grasp the concept of his daddy not being there never gets easier, and I am confident that it never will. The questions will just get harder with age.
I love my son and I love our life together. If given the decision between being a single mother or not being a mother at all, I can say without hesitation I would choose being a single mom. My son is worth every hardship that I face.
